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笑話

>  那天我在宿舍聽廣播,聽到一個很小的女孩子給她的媽媽點(diǎn)歌,她說她的媽媽很辛  
>  苦,星期天也不能休息,要到書店買好多習(xí)題集給她做,于是她就想為她的媽媽點(diǎn)  
>  一                                                                        
>  首歌.主持人一聽,感動的說‘多懂事的孩子啊.請問你想為你的媽媽點(diǎn)什么歌?小
>  女                                                                        
>  孩用稚氣的聲音說‘我想點(diǎn)辛?xí)早鞯摹芭撕慰酁殡y女人”                        
>                                                                            
>  雨點(diǎn)(女,兩歲半,幼兒園小小班小朋友)                                    
>                                                                            
>  雨點(diǎn)只有兩歲半,是幼兒園小小班的小朋友.這天小小班同學(xué)玩游戲,老師把一    
>  籃積木倒在桌上讓小小班的朋友們自由發(fā)揮.只見雨點(diǎn)把積木在自己面前排成一橫  
>  排,然后向前一推,嘴里喊著:“我胡了!”                                    
>                                                                            
>  小多(男,四歲,幼兒園中三班小朋友)                                      
>                                                                            
>  小多與媽媽上街,結(jié)果媽媽把寶寶丟了.小多哭著問街上的叔叔阿姨:“有沒有看  
>  見我媽媽?我媽媽身邊帶著一個小胖子!!”                                  
>                                                                            
>  安安老師(幼兒園中三班女老師)                                            
>                                                                            
>  安安老師的男朋友今天來幼兒園看安安老師,小朋友們見有人來,都急著去表      
>  功,一起跑到安安老師面前大喊:“老師,老師,你爸爸接你來了.”眾老師暈倒.  
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟(男,四歲,幼兒園中三班小朋友)                                      
>                                                                            
>  ◆                                                                        
>                                                                            
>  媽媽讓嘟嘟幫著晾衣服,嘟嘟卻只顧在院子里看一群螞蟻搬蟲子.媽媽便教育他    
>  說:                                                                      
>  “你看螞蟻多勤勞,從不浪費(fèi)時間去玩耍.嘟嘟很不服氣地說:“不過我每次到郊外  
>  去                                                                        
>  旅行,總會遇到它們的.”                                                  
>                                                                            
>  ◆小毛蟲和媽媽                                                            
>                                                                            
>  今天天氣真好,連小毛蟲們都跑出來玩啦.嘟嘟挺神氣地讓安安老師看他手上爬    
>  著的一條蠕動的毛蟲.可安安老師一見毛蟲就全身發(fā)抖,趕緊連哄帶勸地說了句逗  
>  小                                                                        
>  孩子玩的話:“快把它弄到外面去吧,它媽媽一定在找它哩.”嘟嘟轉(zhuǎn)身跑出教      
>  室,安                                                                    
>  安老師這才松了口氣.誰知嘟嘟一小會兒后又進(jìn)來了,手臂上爬著兩條毛蟲,對安  
>  安                                                                        
>  老師說:“老師,我把蟲媽媽也接來了.”                                      
>                                                                            
>  ◆嘟嘟語錄                                                                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟成長心得:如果想要買貴的玩具,告訴爺爺比告訴爸爸要好.                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟的理想:如果我長大以后是個女的,就去當(dāng)醫(yī)生;如果長大了是個男的,我    
>  就當(dāng)工程師.                                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟三歲時對戀愛的看法:我們家都是親戚才談戀愛的,像我爺爺和奶奶,舅舅    
>  和舅媽都是親戚.                                                          
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟五歲時的兩年計劃:等我讀完幼兒園,就得開始考慮為自己找個老婆.        
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟最羞愧的往事:有一天下午實(shí)在是太疲倦了,在幼兒園大便時不知不覺就睡    
>  著了.                                                                    
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟打敗爸爸:爸爸罵嘟嘟:“你這么笨,真是個小豬玀!知不知道小豬玀是什    
>  么?”                                                                    
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟:“知道,它是豬的兒子.”                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟對媽媽很不屑:媽媽:“留神別吃到蘋果里的蟲子喲!”嘟嘟:“為什么要我留  
>  神?該它留神我才是!”                                                    
>                                                                            
>  ◆你辦事我放心                                                            
>                                                                            
>  公園的椅子上坐著一個老奶奶,正在草坪上和小朋友們玩的嘟嘟突然跑過來問:    
>  “婆婆,您的牙還行嗎?”老奶奶和藹地回答:“已經(jīng)不行了,都掉了.”于是嘟嘟放  
>  心                                                                        
>  地拿出一包胡桃,說:“請婆婆替我拿一拿,我去打球.”                        
>                                                                            
>  今天小叔叔來家里,看見嘟嘟正坐在地上認(rèn)真地擺弄積木,便隨口問他:“你們老  
>  師給不給你們上音樂課?”嘟嘟回答說:“當(dāng)然啦!安安老師上周還教我們唱《小鴨  
>  子》.”小叔叔想考考他,就讓嘟嘟唱一首最新學(xué)的歌來聽聽.嘟嘟想了想,似乎有
>  點(diǎn)                                                                        
>  兒茫然,片刻之后,他忽然扭腰擺dian、十分買力地唱到:“最心愛的女人,卻傷害
>  我                                                                        
>  最深,為什么你背著我愛別人……”小叔叔目瞪口呆.                            
>                                                                            
>  ◆音樂細(xì)胞=0                                                              
>                                                                            
>  為了培養(yǎng)嘟嘟的藝術(shù)修養(yǎng),爸爸帶他到音樂廳欣賞小提琴演奏會.一小時,兩小    
>  時過去了,臺上的演奏者依然在不停地演奏……最后,嘟嘟實(shí)在是忍無可忍啦,他大  
>  聲                                                                        
>  問:“爸爸!他要到什么時候才能把那個木盒子鋸開?”爸爸暈倒.                
>                                                                            
>  ◆自由的小孩                                                              
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟吵著要媽媽給他買一個小豬儲蓄罐,媽媽逗嘟嘟玩,問他攢了錢后先要買什    
>  么, 嘟嘟很興奮地告訴媽媽他要去買衛(wèi)生棉.“買什么?!”媽媽睜大了眼睛,以為
>  自                                                                        
>  己聽 錯 了.嘟嘟回答:“買衛(wèi)生棉呀!電視上常常說,只要使用衛(wèi)生棉,就可以倒
>  立,可以騎腳踏車,可以劃船,還可以自由自在的在游泳池里游泳……”媽媽暈倒!  
>                                                                            
>  ◆老虎阿姨                                                                
>                                                                            
>  嘟嘟吵著讓爸爸帶他去看馬戲.爸爸懶洋洋地靠在沙發(fā)里一百個不情愿動,打著    
>  哈欠說:“不行啊,兒子,我沒時間.”嘟嘟說:“聽小朋友說,馬戲團(tuán)里有一位不穿
>  衣                                                                        
>  服的阿姨在老虎身上跳舞.”爸爸想了想,說:“那好吧,咱們一起去,我很久沒有  
>  看                                                                        
>  老虎了.”                                                                
>                                                                            
>                                                                            
>  ◆受歡迎的小孩                                                            
>                                                                            
>  過六一節(jié)了,小朋友們聯(lián)歡,大家都表演節(jié)目.吳旋旋最厲害了,上臺表演彈鋼    
>  琴,演奏完后下面看節(jié)目的爸爸媽媽們都一直在喊,要她再彈一個.安安老師就問  
>  旋                                                                        
>  旋要不要再彈一首,結(jié)果旋旋急得快要哭出來:“我又沒有彈錯,為什么還要我再彈
>  一                                                                        
>  次?”                                                                    
>                                                                            
>
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